The Best Songkran Picture. (Courtesy Pattaya News Flash)

Congratulations to Pattaya News Flash for their prize photo of the boys in brown being battered by the ongoing water-splash revelries. Love it or hate it, Songkran is certainly a community event in Pattaya. Case of TIT (This is Thailand).

֍ Las Vegas Beer Garden on Soi Diana opened according to schedule April 10. Upmarket, noisy and busy. If that’s your scene, mosey on over.

֍ When women sleep around they’re considered sluts, but when gay men do the same it’s called networking. You figure it.

֍ Valentino Restaurant, Jomtien, is promoting a happy hour (17.30-19.30) with all beers 60 baht. A visit is in order.

֍ Tabasco hot sauce disappeared from the supermarkets earlier this year. But it’s back in Foodland.

֍ Advance notice if you have tired of the water festival: the Pattaya Fireworks Festival is booked for November 24 and 25. More traffic jams will be the order of the day.

֍ Julius Caesar said the British were the most ignorant people he had ever encountered. They didn’t speak Latin of course.

֍ Not too late for the Royal Cliff’s Songkran buffet on Sunday April 14, 17.30 to 21.30. Expect the very best for 900++ baht. Reservations 038 250421, x 2037.

֍ Thai police will be using artificial intelligence (AI) to fine vehicles which park illegally on sidewalks. Say that again please.

֍ Apparently, it’s all lies that Marie Antoinette ever said “Let them eat cake!” or that the Vikings had horns on their helmets. Fake news goes back a long way.

֍ More relevantly, several fake news sites last week claimed that the immigration bureau would be open all through the Songkran holidays. For the record, immigration offices are never open to the public on weekends or on public holidays.

֍ The liveliest night sport in Pattaya is surely Soi 6. The girls don’t look as if they need to go on a diet, so head for the action.

֍ Many gurus predicted Sharples’ traditional fish and chips wouldn’t succeed in three separate branches in Pattaya, Jomtien and at Lakeside. Shaun proved them wrong.

֍ A friend of mine said his wife is an angel, but sadly mine is still alive. Any comment would be superfluous.

֍ Several businesses have now moved out of Tree Town on Soi Buakhao. What’s going on? More about this as I learn of it.

֍ There was a report that short time sex can cost you 6,000 baht in Bangkok. But it turned out to be an April Fool’s joke. Still, there might be a grain of truth there.

֍ I met a girl in Pattaya and, when we got back to her place, I got an unpleasant surprise. She was female. Case of huMAN natURE.

֍ Give an example of a comment you would never hear in the 1980s: “I lost my mobile phone.” Keep ‘em coming.

֍ The Thai premier Srettha Thavisin is not the tallest head of state in the world at 192cm. First prize goes to Filip Vujanovic of Montenegro or Serbia’s Aleksander Vucic at around 198cm

But I don’t give a hoot!

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